Updated: Feb 12
For any mother to a new little one, it can be very lonely and isolating. Mama's (Mostly but not always! Dad's too!) make the sacrifice of staying in with their little precious new bundle of love and joy. They nurture and devote their days (and nights!) to taking care of their needs. Learning the unique cries and mewls and finding some resemblance of routine or the joys of no routine at all.
For most, Social media is a way to pass the time and feel connected to the outside world...especially whilst your wee one snoozes and as a delay tactic to avoid that massive pile of washing that sits there taunting you.
It can be an amazing way to learn and find support when you're a new mum, or just find that your second or third or fourth baby is completely different to the ones before and you need that supportive helping network of ladies in your news feed.
But what I want to talk about is the more unrealistic and less supportive side of social media. This comes in the form of comparison.
As women, who have just had a baby, hormones are rampant...baby blues may well and truly be here to stay for what seems like, forever. This can make you vulnerable and compare what celebrity mums are doing..or your friends neighbour or your sister in law who has just had her baby not long after you..or any other person in your news feed.
What we need to realise is that we need to be realistic! Social media is a tool for showing off your successes. Most people won't or try not to show you their innermost struggles. The new celebrity mama who gave birth 5 days ago and is traipsing around in heels and a full face of make up uses a host of assistants, nanny's and other help to maintain her image. Contrasting and comparing yourself to them is like comparing a city to a town. Both have similar backgrounds but a city has far more people in it than a town, far more resources and far more supportive structures than a town.
You, my dear, are doing what you feel you need to do. You are taking care of your baby. A baby that doesn't care if you haven't brushed your hair in 4 days...have an endless pile of washing on the couch that taunts you...have dishes in your sink...have milk stains on your top and odd socks on. And truth be told...no one in your village cares either. The people that care about you...CARE about you. Not what you wear, what you look like...what your house looks like. They want to be there for you and your family in any way they can.
That is the difference between social media and real life. Your village of people will always support you and build you up...they won't compare you to others...they will look after you and tell you how well you are doing. They fill the voids and help you anyway you need in order for you to take care of your little one. They see you at your worst...and your best...and everything in between.
So when you find yourself avoiding the pile of washing while bubs sleeps and gearing up to just 'hop on social media for a sec'. Remind yourself you are doing a bloody good job, and yes you have a support group on social media. But be mindful about how you use those groups. Am I using this positively? or am I just comparing myself to others?
It takes a village to raise a child...so start with the village you have in front of you...down your street...your family and friends. Let them see you as you are...because you are YOU not anybody else...and you, Mama are MAGNIFICENT!